arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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