Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
this will be a night to untag.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
