I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
