She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
