need another drink. this is the easiest way
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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