Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
