oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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