bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
These tits shall not be calmed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
