two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
