Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
