Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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