apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
