The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
