bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
