): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I have already put on my inside pants.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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