he wants to bone in the snuggie
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
