Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize