I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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