My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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