I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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