i think my mom watched the whole time
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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