My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
