is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
