My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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