It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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