i think my mom watched the whole time
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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