Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
