guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
