when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
