can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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