I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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