well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize