found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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