I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
