her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
