a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
