i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
