I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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