i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
