I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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