Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
