the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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