Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
