Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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