he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
