If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
