This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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