using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
