I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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