I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Me too!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize