It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
