Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize