That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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