Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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