i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
