He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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