guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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