he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
