I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
