If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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