put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
