Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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